I meet with people all the time to talk about social media and invariably I get this question, “How should I approach social media, and what kinds of things should I say?”

I really struggled with a good answer for a while until I re-read one of my all-time favorite books, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”  In the book he talks about how to act when you are at a party and in my head it clicked.  Social Media is just a really big (virtual) party.

The majority of parties that I attend invariably have people that I know well, people I have met once or twice, and several people I have never seen before.  Social media is quite the same.  I interact with all three of these types of people on a regular basis in the social media space.

I was chatting with my friend Stephen Hunton a couple of weeks ago and really solidified the party analogy during our meeting.  I originally met Stephen on Twitter toward the end of last summer.  We talked a few times and traded DM’s.  In fact, neither of us realized it, but we were both in the Catalyst backstage interview room at the same time last October but didn’t realize it.  We finally met in person thanks to a Buckhead Church event.

As we were talking the subject of social media came up and he asked me how I approached the space for business use.  I began to describe a party:

  • When you walk into a party you have several options:
    • Loudly announce your presence, walk up to complete strangers and start talking to them, grab a drink and stand alone waiting for people to talk to you, or find a few of your friends and join in their conversation and they will invariably introduce you to others.
  • You also have several options for what to talk about:
    • At a party you can talk all about yourself or your business and not really listen to what others are saying, you can not really add anything and just listen, or you can participate in a genuine conversation.  This means you are asking questions, really listening and finding interest in the subject at hand, offering small tid-bits about your thoughts, answering questions with short and non-verbose answers.

So, what should you do on Social Media?  Try this:

  • Enter into the space slowly, just as you would a party.  Greet the people that you come into contact with (NO AUTO-DM!) and begin to learn about who they are and what their interests are.
  • Begin to follow people/organizations you know well or are interested in learning more about and hear what they are talking about.  Ask questions if you are curious.
  • Offer some links or pictures that you come across and feel that your followers would enjoy or learn from.
  • Give credit where credit is due when you find something interesting or hear something useful.  People will respect you and your influence will grow.
  • Finally, be a good party guest.  If you spill something (post something offensive or incorrect) clean it up!

Are you a good party guest in social media?  What is your strategy for growing your influence?