I love being personally challenged in my thinking. The other day I was asked, “What do I want?”
This wasn’t like fast food decision of number 3 vs a biggy-sized number 5. This was a life question. What do I want out of this situation? What do I want out of my marriage, my business, my friendships, my job….
This was two weeks ago. I still have not been able to identify the answer. In wrestling with the question, I’ve observed that somewhere along the way I have been trained not to ask this question. Me having a selfish or ambitious outcome was somehow, in some way, un-holy.
Besides the irrational thought behind the un-holiness of the answer I stumbled onto another reason why I couldn’t answer the question… FEAR.
There was fear that I couldn’t have what I really wanted. Fear that I would fail. Fear that I wasn’t good enough for that outcome. I am really interested in being able to answer the question, but more so, I’m now intrigued to confront this new-found fear that had been lurking deep within.
So here is my to-do list:
- Come to grips with the idea that I have desires in my heart and those are not at odds with God.
- Overcome my fear of answering the question.
- Answer the question.
I dare you to join me.